This guest blog is from the perspective of one of my friends regarding the Cosmo experience:
Before last Tuesday morning when her story broke, Jake and I talked about how it could go. Over the course of the months between the first call and the publication of her story, I’d finally succeeded in convincing her that there would be a voracious response despite her best efforts to argue that it wasn’t that big of a deal. As the day approached, she’d done a little research for confessionals about the experience of a very widespread, public exposure and come up empty. I anticipated it would be a mixed bag of elation, vindication, overwhelm and fear, but I could have never expected that it would also be so transformational.
Jake and I were at Ole Miss at the same time, and I knew who she was because I’d been in her father’s legendary freshman pre-med biology class for two weeks before becoming an English major. There were years in between, however, where we would not know of each other at all or that we were each on difficult, sometimes tragic journeys towards the same thing: authenticity. When Jake and I came together again, we had both just returned to our home state of Mississippi professionally defeated and mourning the loss of children yet knowing that somehow returning to our roots was going to be the foundation for a whole new way forward.
We came together through farming. My family has farmed the same property for nearly two hundred years, and I was hoping that moving back to Mississippi would offer me the chance to connect with that history in a way I’d never done before. I had been asked to join the board of directors for a new organization to support sustainable farming combining my emerging interest in this area as well as my experience as a professional fundraiser. Most of the rest of the members of the board were Ag science faculty. And then there was Jake. Gorgeous, hilarious Jake, who talked about her goats. I had to know her story. And as we discovered last week, it is one that fascinates and inspires many.
Meeting each other at the lowest point in our lives and making the choice to support and lean on each other as we journeyed out of that darkness means that we are super protective of each other. Since her alarm clock is bleating goats, I knew what time to get up to beat her to her Cosmo story last Tuesday morning. I wanted to see it all first so that by the time she saw it, I was prepared to handle however it might have gone wrong. It was surprisingly perfect. We both have worked in PR, so it was really was a shock to see a third party present her so truthfully. I was and continue to be so happy for her. It warms my heart to see her celebrated for what I know has been a hard fight for freedom and a life on her terms.
It’s been hard for me to be so far away during this time. It’s tortured me to think of her on her own as the world bombarded her quiet life. For the most part, the bombardment has been like a parade, but there have been smoke bombs, too. There have been lessons learned already this week about engagement with those who criticize and even those who are inspired. I’ve been fascinated by people who have connected with her story claiming similar dreams, and also those known to her and not who leverage her or her story to promote themselves. Mostly I’ve learned about celebrity in these short days, and I have more compassion for people in the limelight than ever before. Boundaries have to be built up quickly in these kinds of experiences, and armor has to be donned to protect against the inevitable envy that emerges sometimes from those you count on the most.
The thing about finding truth is that we all have a way to do it. For Jake that is through her farm, and others share that dream. I think what made her story so big, however, was the courage it took to chase truth at all. Courage is what connects all of our journeys to authenticity, and I think that’s what readers responded to. Her story gives readers permission to go for it, and her journey from city girl to goat wrangler is a story of resilience, character and grit. These same characteristics will motor her forward and protect her. She’s a model for the old adage that nothing of value comes easily – but nothing that comes easily feels this damn good.
-Kathryn Dilworth
www.KatPhilanthropy.com