Last week marked four years since I uprooted my life and left the city to move to the country. Moving here has been an intense learning experience. I’ve had to learn everything from how to buy firewood, start a fire and keep it going to how to obtain, grow and care for a variety of livestock – and even become a vet to some extent. Doing things solo makes it much more challenging than having someone to bounce things off or help you get anything done.
I’ve had to learn how to assist goat births, fix mild birth defects in chicks and eventually learn how to humanely kill some animals I’ve loved and some I haven’t.
After living in Florida for so long I’d forgotten about the trials of winter. I had no idea pipes freeze and the mess or expense that could make.
I was so accustomed to city life I didn’t know how dark the nights can be without street lights.
I had to learn the hard way that those cute possums, raccoons or occasional wandering dog rummaging through trash in the city could cause so much destruction and heartache in the country.
I remember buying my first farm fresh eggs in the city. I couldn’t eat them for a week because I somehow thought they weren’t as good as the perfectly sized/colored factory eggs. Now I’m disgusted by store-bought eggs and the conditions those poor birds are in. I used to buy the “Vegetarian-fed” eggs. Now I’m acutely aware chickens hunt for everything from bugs to mice and even snakes. Just today I heard a commotion and when I looked outside seven chickens were running after one with a large mouse hanging from it’s beak. Chickens are what I imagine dinosaurs would have been like – if they were cute, fluffy and huggable.
I’ve learned about animal behavior and witnessed inter-species friendships and feuds. I’ve answered questions science is studying on some behaviors that seem obvious to me after observing my animals for the past years.
I’ve learned people living rurally are extremely resourceful and creative. Everyone is private but will drop anything they’re doing to help a neighbor. The distance from town naturally makes us a closer community regardless of age, gender, race or economic status. We are all very aware that in an emergency or disaster our community is all we have. In Tampa I rarely knew my neighbors. I could have died in my condo and my neighbors wouldn’t have known.
Then there’s the silence. In the city there’s a never-ending barrage of sound. Here, only the summer nights are loud with the spring peepers and various bug sounds – then the sound can be deafening at times. Those 17 year cicadas from a couple years ago almost drove me insane with how loud they were. People in suburbs loved posting about how lovely it was to hear them. Not in the country, their sheer numbers made your ears hurt.
It’s not uncommon for me to go a week without seeing another person. The longest I’ve gone is three weeks. When you have your own milk, veggies and eggs and a decent stash of other items there’s no need to go out. I didn’t notice until I finally went to the grocery store and realized how chatty I was being with everyone. There’s probably such a thing as too much solitude and I’ve had times where I’ve been great at being a recluse.
I’ve had to reach to the depths of my strength just to make it sometimes. I haven’t always been strong. I’ve cried a lot. Sometimes because of sadness other times due to frustration and feeling helpless. And I’ve had several points where I was close to giving up and selling out, but I knew I’d never forgive myself if I made that decision at a weak point.
This life has been the gift that keeps on giving. It’s mostly wonderful despite a large learning curve. It’s helped to have amazing neighbors who don’t hesitate to send their husbands over to help me fix my well or mark my property line or any number of other things I’ve been too clueless to do.
The gifts I’ve received, people I’ve met and miracles I’ve witnessed have changed my life and showed me my own strength and boundaries. As it turns out, self-reliance isn’t about just counting on yourself, it’s about becoming more capable so you have more to offer a partner, community or the world.